Just let me Fade
by shannco
Summary: Riley Matthews just wants her friends to be happy. Even if that means slowly removing herself from their lives. AU, non-canon, Lucaya, Smarkle, eventual Riarkle.
1. Chapter 1

It was just one of those things that happened. Slowly, and without any of them even really noticing. The trip to Texas is when it started, she could see the chemistry between them, she wondered why she hadn't noticed it before. They challenged each other in a way that she couldn't imagine being able to do. It wasn't easy; watching her best friend fall in love with her first love. But she loves them both, and she just wants them to be happy, and if they make each other happy so be it. She'd step back for them, even if it was killing her inside. Her smile was becoming a little less bright and a little more fake with every passing day. It never reached her eyes anymore and overall she just wasn't the bright and bubbly "Smiley Riley" she was before. She must have been a damn good actor because no one seemed to notice. Not one person had called her own on her less than enthusiastic self and she was glad. As much as she wanted them to be happy she wasn't quite done building the wall around her feelings and thoughts to protect herself yet. It wasn't as if they were throwing it in their face, she could tell that they were fighting what they were feeling and it needed to stop.

Riley was sitting at their usual booth at Topanga's while she thought about this. Farkle was a few tables over having what looked to be an intense debate about who knows what with his girlfriend, Isadora. Directly across from Riley were the two people on her mind. The two people who was sitting next to each other, but were deliberately trying not to touch and being way too polite for any conversation between Maya and Lucas. Not that she was listening to what they were talking about, she was very much stuck in her own head trying to figure out what to do. She needed them to get over whatever this was and just start actually dating, even if she really didn't want them to. She was pulled out of her musings by a sharp,

"Riles."

"Yes?" She jerked her head to face her best friend, who was giving her a half annoyed, half amused look.

"I called your name four times. What were you thinking about so hard?"

"Nothing Peaches. Just spaced out for a minute. Did you need something?"

"My mom just finished her shift, and Shawn's taking us out to dinner tonight so I'm out of here."

"Isn't that dinner twice this week?" Maya's responding smile told her everything she needed to know. "That's great, Peaches! Bay window tonight?"

"Sure Sweetie. I'll see you later," she paused briefly before saying, "Bye Huckleberry." Her stare lingered on him and Riley could swear she saw her blush a little before she turned to meet her mother at the door of the cafe.

"Bye Maya," Lucas said almost reverently. Maya was well out of sight before Riley cleared her throat drawing his attention away from the door.

"Sorry," he said while shaking his head as if to clear it.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Lucas, and you don't have to stay. You can head home. I'm waiting for my mom to close up tonight anyways."

"Hey, I don't mind, we're still friends aren't we?" He asked almost hesitantly. Riley put on the brightest smile she could muster,

"Of course we're still friends Lucas, why wouldn't we be? Now as your friend can I offer some advice?" He looked at her questioningly and nodded for her to continue. "Go get your girl. Stop beating around the bush and just be together. I have eyes you know? You love her, and not just puppy love. You are in love with her. So stop hesitating and be with her." His eyes were glued to the table and his hands were doing that twitching thing they did when he is uncomfortable.

"Riley…" he trailed off before looking up at her with an almost painful expression. If we hadn't been looking directly at each other she probably wouldn't have heard him say,

"I'm terrified of losing you." She gave him a half smile and he continued,

"You're one of my best friends. I don't want to hurt you. I want you in my life"

"Lucas, sometimes we have to be a little selfish. She's what you want. You'll never be happy if you don't go for it."

She didn't want to promise that they would always be best friends. She knew in her heart that things were going to change irrevocably, and she would slowly fade from their lives. That thought hurt, but it was for the best. People were tiptoeing around her feelings and making it so much more awkward than it needed to be. Once she had pushed the two of them together she would take a step back. She would let them discover their relationship and be happy together and she would gradually make her retreat. She wasn't stupid. No one was ever going to pick her over Maya. Maya was beautiful, adventurous, spirited and an overall amazing person. Riley was too tall, with an average face, and what she considered a boring personality. No, no one would ever choose her.

The wall of fake happiness almost cracked at the radiant smile he gave her. She knew he was holding back his feelings because of her and for her to really tell him to go for it must have meant a lot to Lucas.

"Thank you, Riley." He said quietly as he slipped from their booth and out of Topanga's.

Riley kept her head down as she started to gather her things from the table. She wasn't really waiting for her mom, but she didn't want to force Lucas to stay and be awkward with her. He was trying so hard to be neutral even though anyone with eyes could see that it was Maya he wanted. She was so busy trying to keep her emotions at bay that she didn't notice the boy who slid into the booth across from her.

"You okay Riles?" Farkle asked making Riley jumped. She had her hand held over her heart as she tried to slow it down.

"What the crap Farkle? You just scared me half to death!" She said overdramatically while cracking a real smile.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "Your conversation seemed intense I just wanted to check on you." He was staring at her intensely trying to get a read on how she was feeling.

"I'm fine. I was just telling Lucas he didn't need to worry about me and that he should just admit he's in love with Maya." She said it so nonchalantly that Farkle was conflicted on whether or not to believe she was okay.

"You sure you're okay with that?" He asked cautiously. Farkle knew how much Riley loved Lucas until just recently it was written all over her face. Over that past four months since they had returned from Texas Farkle watched as Riley retreated into herself. It wouldn't have been obvious to the untrained eye. Hell he was pretty sure her parents didn't notice and he knew damn well that Maya hadn't noticed. Her supposed best friend didn't see that she was dying inside. Riley hid it well, but Farkle saw the spark in her eyes slowly fading. He wasn't sure if Josh had noticed, but Farkle was almost positive he had. Josh had become a lot more protective of his younger sister recently. He guessed he was one of the only ones to notice because he had been watching Riley since the first grade. All through elementary and middle school he learned to read her. Now that they were in high school they were all still best friends, but they didn't have all of their classes together anymore. He and Riley had bonded over AP classes and never ending homework that Lucas and Maya just couldn't relate to. They were by no means stupid, but they were taking different levels of some of their classes. He and Riley knew each other inside and out and that's why he was concerned. She was hiding from him. He had gotten used to her not being quite as open as she had been in middle school with other people, but she had never hid from him before.

"Stop worrying Farkle. I'm fine, truly. They'll make each other happy and Maya deserves all the happiness she can get." Riley told him firmly.

As per usual Riley was more concerned about her friends happiness than her own.

"Riley," Farkle started only to be cut off by Riley's poor attempt at changing the subject.

"Where is Isadora? I know you were studying with her. Is she still here?" Farkle took pity on her for now, but he was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Yeah, she is waiting over at our table. I wanted to check on you."

"That's sweet Farkle, and now you've seen that I'm fine," she said to him as she stood from the booth. "Now you can head back over to her and spend time with your girlfriend. I'm going home anyways." She kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "You're a great friend." With a quick wave to her mom she was out the door.

Farkle watched her disappear up the stairs as he returned to his table. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Isadora pulled him from his head before he could get lost in his thoughts.

"Everything okay?" She asked. Isadora and Riley had become more or less friends over the past four years. Moreover the time they were in high school than in middle school so it wasn't unusual for Isadora to ask about Riley. She really had tried to become friends with his friends, but sometimes they were just too different. They were all friendly and she was never excluded from the things they did, but she wasn't close with any of them.

"I honestly don't know," he told her.

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Riley offered her dad a quick hello before retreating to her room. There was only a few hours before Maya will show up and she needs to get her emotions under control before she does. Riley was upset about the conversation with Lucas, but that wasn't what was bothering her right now. She absolutely hated lying to Farkle. He was her best friend. She wasn't okay, but she couldn't tell him that. She had to protect her friends. Her feelings were her problem and no one else's. She didn't want put Farkle in the position of having to take sides. Lucas and Maya were his friends too and she wasn't going to be responsible for any problems in the group. Farkle had Isadora, student council, science club and so many other things to keep him busy. She was sure when the time came she would be able to slowly fade into the background without him noticing.

She turned on her ipod, crawled under the covers and buried her head in her pillows. It was probably half an hour later and she was so engrossed in her thoughts and the music she didn't hear her door open and someone come in her room. So when someone sat on her bed she screamed.

"Woah, calm down," Josh chuckled at her as he pulled the pillow off her head. She glared at him from her spot beneath the covers and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh real mature Riles. What are you doing under there anyways?" He asked somewhat amused at her childish attempts to distract him, but he could see the dried tear streaks down her cheeks..

They were less than a year apart and up until a few months ago incredibly close. Like Farkle, Josh had noticed his sister pulling away from him and he didn't like it. He had always been her protector. There was nothing she couldn't come to him with when she needed someone and vice versa. He was the one she came to when she was being bullied in the 8th grade. She told him about her first kiss with Lucas and he had talked her through her nerves before her first date. He had been there for her when she and Lucas decided not to be a couple yet. He was there every time she tried out for cheerleading both to cheer her on because he believed in her and to pick up the pieces when she didn't make the team. She had cried on his shoulder more times than he could count and he couldn't remember a time when she hid anything from him.

Now it was like his sister was becoming a new person. She was quieter and he could hear her crying herself to sleep every night. He was impressed with the act she managed to put on for their parents. To them she was still the same old bubbly Riley. Two years ago her act never would have worked, but mom had become a partner at the firm and their dad had taken on the role of being a vice principal and teaching so their plates were a little full. They were always their for his baseball and basketball games and whatever Riley and Auggie had going on, but he didn't think they were looking too closely to be able to tell that Riley had changed.

"I'm just tired," she said quietly cutting into his thoughts. His eyes narrowed. Did she really think she could lie to HIM? Their parents? Sure. Lucas? Yes. Maya? Lately absolutely. But she couldn't lie to him.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked. He wasn't going to be around the bush right now.

"Allergies," was her reply. Josh rolled his eyes at her.

"You really think I'm going to believe that?"

"What do you want Josh?"

"What's wrong Riley?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, everything's fine."

"Bull."

They were both getting angry. Riley was getting mad at Josh for prying and Josh was angry that Riley was lying.

"Why are you lying to me? What happened? Why won't you talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about Josh. EVERYTHING IS FINE!" She yelled as she threw off the covers and walked across the room to get away from him. Not that it did any good because he just followed her. She was standing with her back to him staring out the window.

"Just go away Josh," she whispered.

"Talk to me Riley," he said as he gently turned her around to look at him. He could see the tears in her eyes, along with the fierce determination to not let them fall. Josh pulled his sister into a hug silently begging her to let him in so he could help her. After two minutes of her refusing to talk or even hug him back he sighed and stepped back.

"I'll leave you alone for now Riles, but you will talk to me eventually." He gave her one more searching look before going to his own room leaving Riley on her own.


	2. Chapter 2

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It was after 11 o'clock by the time Maya made it to the bay window. Dinner had run longer than expected and they had gone to Batman vs. Superman. Maya was team Batman, not that that is important right now. As she approached she could see Riley sitting in the window ringing her hands nervously. _What is she nervous about?_ Maya thought as she slid the window open and crawled inside.

"Hi Sweetie!" She greeted her friend.

"Peaches! Thanks for coming." The way she said that made Maya hesitate.

" _Did Riley really_ _think she wasn't going to come over?"_ She thought to herself. Yes things had changed in highschool. They didn't spend everyday after school sitting in the bay window. They had made new friends. She, Riley, Lucas and Farkle were still best friends and hung out all the time, but Lucas had his baseball friends, Maya had her art friends and Farkle had his science friends. Maya wasn't entirely sure what group Riley's other friends fit into, but she had to have them right? Riley was in so many clubs and activities there was no way she didn't have friends outside the four of them, even if Maya didn't know who they were.

"Of course, you're my best friend. Why wouldn't I have come?" Maya asked her seriously.

"No reason," Riley tried to backtrack, "We've all just been so busy lately, we don't see each other as much outside of school. And you're not going to like my topic of conversation." She paused.

"Which is…" Maya asked despite not being sure she wanted to have whatever conversation her friend had in mind.

"Lucas." Maya's heart skipped a beat. They had been avoiding this for years. Why bring it up now?

"Riley NO. We are not talking about this. The three of us are friends. JUST FRIENDS." Maya started to rant, but Riley cut her off,

"Yes Maya we are talking about this. And the whole were all just friends thing worked two years ago in middle school. It doesn't fit anymore. You two are clearly in love with each other even if you fight it. Who am I to stand in the way of that?" Riley paused mentally cringing about what she was going to say, but confident that her emotions weren't all over her face. "My feelings for Lucas have faded over time. Yes he is one of my best friends, but so are you and you are IN LOVE with him. And he's in love with you."

"No he isn't Riley, we're just friends. You just said your feelings had faded, not that they were gone." Maya told her. She could see Maya getting frustrated with the conversation. Riley hadn't forced this conversation in almost two years because she really didn't want to have it. But watching her friends fight their feelings because of her. The Riley Committee wasn't strictly necessary anymore, but her friends still tried to keep her sheltered from getting hurt by the world, just like she did for them. But that needed to end now.

"No, Lucas and I are just friends. He's one of my best friends, but that is as far as it goes. You and Lucas are so much more. I already talked to him earlier at Topanga's."

"YOU WHAT!?" Maya shrieked.

"You two want to be together. So be together."

"Riles, I don't want this to mess up our friendship. Clearly there is a reason Lucas and I aren't together."

"Yes because you're trying to protect me!" Riley yelled at her. She was so miserable from this conversation. She just wanted it to end. "It isn't necessary. I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself. Lucas is nothing more than a good friend to me. Just stop making excuses and be with him." Riley paused preparing herself to truly lie to her best friend, "Besides there's someone else."

Maya's eyes widened at the whispered statement.

"WHO?" She asked. " _How could Riley not tell me about this?"_ she thought to herself. She hadn't noticed Riley getting all gooey-eyed over anyone new. Had she missed it?

"I don't want to talk about it yet, it's still kind of new," Riley told her while praying that Maya wouldn't be able to see through her.

Maya was quiet. Caught up in her own thoughts while studying Riley's face trying to see if she was lying to her. But other than looking tired, which to be honest Maya was shocked Riley was still up, her little plant had always been an early to bed is an early to rise kind of person, she didn't look heartbroken or even sad. Just tired. Maya would be lying if she said she wasn't in love with Lucas, because she was. She had been fighting the urge to be together for Riley's sake. Things had gotten weird for the three of them after that New Year's party and they had decided to put their friendship first and not let any romantic feelings get in the way. But that was over two years ago. Maybe things could change now.

"Riley."

"Maya."

"Thank you!" She squealed while hugging her. Riley let out a chuckle.

"No worries, Peaches. You guys deserve to be happy. Now get out of here. I'm exhausted." She said dramatically as she went to fall on her bed. She really needed Maya to leave before she lost it. She may have wanted her friends to be happy, but she didn't necessarily want to watch.

"Topanga's tomorrow?" Maya asked as she climbed out the window.

"Sure," Riley called after her, though Maya was already gone. It had been a rhetorical question really, they always went to Topanga's on Saturdays. But Riley wasn't sure she wanted to go tomorrow. She was sure that the conversations she had with her friends today would turn into them becoming a couple and she would get to see it first hand tomorrow. She wasn't ready. She may have told them to be together but it doesn't mean it was going to be easy to watch. She drifted off into a fitful sleep dreading tomorrow.

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Josh stumbled out of his room the next morning at 9, he was surprised to see his sister's door still shut; she was always up before him, but shrugged it off as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Good Morning Josh," his mother said warmly from the stove. He assumed she was cooking seeing as the room smelled like bacon.

"Morning," he yawned. He poured himself a cup of coffee before looking up at his family for the first time and asked "Where's Riley?"

"She's asleep," Auggie told him, as he munched away on some pancakes.

"What?" He asked almost choking on his drink. She never sleeps past 7 o'clock. When she had the flu and she was still up at 7 every morning, so why was she still in bed?

"I saw Maya climbing down the fire escape after midnight last night," Cory told him, " And you know Riley, she does not stay up that late. She's probably just needs some more sleep."

"Oh, okay," Josh said. He knew Maya was here late last night, He had seen her climbing in Riley's window when he had gotten home from the movies. He had guessed that she was staying the night but that wasn't the case. He had watched his sister and her best friend develop new friendships in high school. There was still always the four of them, but it was different now. Maya used to spend every weekend at their house, but over the last few months the sleepovers and the constant presence of Maya slowly came to a halt. Don't get him wrong she still came over but no where near the extent that she had been in the ten years she and Riley had been friends. " _Maybe that's why Riley was upset yesterday."_ He thought to himself. Maya and Riley growing apart would definitely upset his sister. But that didn't seem right either; The two still spent a lot of time together.

"We're taking Auggie to the science museum for the day. Do you have practice?" Topanga asked him.

"Yeah, I have to be there at 10, so I should probably get going," he replied bringing his plate and mug to the sink. "Have fun at the science museum buddy," he told Auggie as he messed up his brother's hair before making his way to his room.

A little over 3 hours later he trudged up the stairs to their apartment only to find Maya sitting outside the door.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" He asked her as he pulled out his keys.

"Riley didn't show up at Topanga's, she's not answering her phone and the bay window is locked," she told him as she stood up and brushed herself off. "I was worried."

"Mom asked her to keep the window locked unless she was in there and awake. I know she slept in today. You guys usually meet at 10 right?" She nodded before he continued, "she was still asleep when I left for practice at 9:30."

"Is she sick?" Josh had to chuckle at that as they walked in the door. Most teens don't get up until noon on the weekends, but they were concerned that Riley wasn't out of bed at the crack of dawn.

"Not that I know of. Hey wait didn't I see you at the field this morning?" He looked at her questioningly. The Maya he knew wasn't one for baseball. What peaked his interest in her answer even more was when her entire face blushed bright red. The Maya he knew also did not blush.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Um, I had to talk to Lucas about something. Nothing major," Maya replied trying to be evasive; she really did not want to have this conversation with Josh of all people. No matter what Riley had told her and Lucas, knowing Josh the way she did, he would probably see this as them betraying his little sister. But he wasn't going to let her get away with that and just raised his eyebrows at her as if to say continue. "He.. umm.. Well.. He asked me to be his girlfriend." She blurted out. Josh's eyes widened a bit and the rest of his face seemed to take on a stunned look.

"Um, what?" He asked while trying to school his features into a neutral expression.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend," She stated with more confidence, "We're going out tonight."

"What about Riley?"

"What about her?"

"She likes him Maya, and you're her best friend. She's had a thing for him since the day they met and you started liking him almost 2 years later. What kind of friend, let alone best friend, lets themselves fall for the guy their best friend is in love with?" Josh ranted. _What is she thinking?_ Josh thought to himself. Though this conversation was definitely giving him some insight into what was going on with Riley. He was about to continue his rant when Maya cut him off,

"Riley talked to both Lucas and I yesterday telling us to go for it. It was her idea. I wasn't going to do anything until she pushed it. Besides she told me yesterday that he feelings for Lucas had faded and she likes someone else. She wants us to be happy." She was glaring at him but hoping that he didn't pick up on the fact that she didn't answer his question. She had always felt guilty about her feelings for Lucas, but Riley told her to go for it and she wasn't going to feel guilty anymore.

Josh just stared at the girl in front of him. Six months ago he would have considered her another little sister, but today she was like a stranger to him. Had things really changed so much between the two that Maya couldn't see that her friend wasn't the same bubbly happy go lucky person anymore? Or that she was lying straight to her face? Well not entirely. Josh believed that Riley told the two to go for it and even that she wanted them to be happy, but there definitely was not anyone else.

Maya watched as Josh's face switched from disbelief to disappointment. This is why she didn't want to have this conversation. She knew he'd react this way, because it was the same way he had reacted 2 years ago when this all happened the first time. Maya had felt terrible when she developed feelings for her best friends crush but it wasn't like she had done it on purpose. That didn't matter to Josh though. Loyalty meant everything to him and she knew he saw this as a betrayal, just like he had then. She was pulled from her musings by Josh saying,

"I'll go see if Riley's awake." He walked out of the room without looking back and without giving her time to reply. She knew he would want to talk to Riley, so she flopped on the couch prepared to wait for her best friend to come out.

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	3. Chapter 3

_At Topanga's with Farkle and Isadora the night before:_

Isadora Smackle was not a stupid person. Her Asperger's may have held her back in certain areas, but in the four years that she had gone from being Farkle's arch nemesis to his girlfriend had taught her a lot about people and relationships. Most of the time she could be just like any other teenager now, though she still struggled sometimes, and Farkle was always there for her when it happened. Farkle was good people. He had the biggest heart of anyone she knew, other than Riley, and he cared deeply about his friends. Sometimes though she wondered if he cared a little too much. Her boyfriend spent a significant amount of time keeping an eye on Riley lately. Isadora was by no means an insecure person, but sometimes you have your doubts about the girl your boyfriend had been in love with his whole life. She knows it is irrational since they were in elementary school and it was just "puppy love" as Zay had put it, though she still didn't entirely know what he meant. However, it did cause her to have some doubts. So when Farkle sudden stood up in the middle of her explanation of her latest experiment with a short 'I'll be right back.' she was concerned. She trusted Farkle completely, and it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Riley was in love with Lucas, but sometimes she wondered what would have happened if Lucas had never moved to New York. Would Farkle have chosen her if Lucas hadn't stolen Riley's heart?

Isadora kept an eye on them but made no move to leave her table. She could see the concern Farkle had for Riley written all over his face. Had he ever looked at her like that? She didn't think so. She watched Riley get up to leave but not before giving Farkle a kiss on the cheek. This happened often enough, but Isadora wasn't sure if she was okay with it anymore. She had no desire to come between Farkle and his friends, but maybe it was time to keep him a little closer.

She quickly pretended to be reading her notes as Farkle returned to their table.

"Everything okay?" she asked him. His pause did nothing to reassure her that Riley wasn't going to be the only thing on his mind for the rest of the night. So when he finally responded she knew she needed to decide what to do next and soon. Because "I honestly don't know." was not what she had been hoping to hear.

"What happened?" she asked taking care not to sound too interested one way or another. Either she succeeded or he was too distracted to notice her purposeful nonchalance.

"Riley told Lucas to tell Maya he loves her and ask her to be his girlfriend. I know she's trying to put on a good face for everyone, and as usual putting other people before herself, but I just wish she would talk to me. No, instead she tells me everything is fine." He ran his hands through his hair like he always did when he doesn't know what to do.

"Well, maybe she is fine," Isadora told him. When she the annoyed expression on his face and his mouth open with what she was sure would be his 'but I know Riley' speech she continued on,

"She didn't look upset, just tired. Maybe she is tired of being treated like she doesn't know her own mind. Perhaps her feelings for Lucas have begun to resemble the feelings she has for you and only sees him as a good friend. You all still think of her as that 12-year-old girl that needs to be protected from all the bad in the world. Maybe, just maybe she doesn't want to be protected anymore." Isadora held her breath hoping she didn't just start an argument with him. But he just seemed to contemplate what she said, hopefully agreeing with what she said.

"But I want to protect her," he whispered mostly to himself. Isadora didn't know how to respond to that. She wanted her boyfriend to spend a little less time thinking about Riley and a little more time thinking of her, but she couldn't tell him that.

Whatever look she had on her face must have made him think she was uncomfortable with where that sentence could lead because he immediately began to question her about her experiment again. Anxious to escape the discussion about Riley, she launched into her plans for phase two answering all of Farkle's questions.

When they parted ways to go home an hour or so later she kissed him just a little longer than she normally would and held him just a little bit tighter. She knew Farkle was no cheater and she knew he loved her, but she couldn't help but feel like he was slipping away from her.

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Josh stalked down the hallway to Riley's room completely baffled by Maya's behavior. What happened to the girl who put Riley before everyone else? The girl who was an honorary Matthews? Josh just couldn't see that girl he had thought of as a second sister anymore, and if he couldn't see it he didn't want to know how Riley saw her anymore.

High school had been hard for his sister. He watched as she and her friends struggled with being in different classes and not being able to spend as much time together. They slowly began to join clubs and teams and make friends with people they hadn't been going to school with their whole lives.

Riley still hadn't made the cheerleading team, but she was a photographer for the student newspaper and the yearbook. She was on the model UN team and volunteered at the animal shelter. Yet unlike Maya, and Farkle, and Lucas, and even Zay she didn't make any real friends outside those four. Yes people liked her and she had the people she would eat lunch with or do projects with, but no hangout on the weekend and do stuff together outside of school friends. Not that he blamed her, he had his two best friends and then people they saw when they went out, but for the most part, it was just the three of them. But she watched as her best friends made new friends and it started as missing one thing here or there, but it slowly morphed into meeting at Topanga's Friday's after school if they had time, only to separate by 5 o'clock to go home and get ready for their real Friday night plans. Riley never lets on that she didn't have anything else to do because she didn't want them to feel obligated to invite her along. Maya, Lucas, and Zay never noticed, but he knew Farkle did. Because Farkle on most Friday nights stopped by after his date with Smackle to watch a movie or something with Riley. He hadn't the previous night but since Maya had come by he figured that was why.

He cautiously approached her bedroom door. Despite the brave face, she would probably put on, he knew she must be devastated even if she was the one to push them together. He hesitantly knocked on the door and called out

"Riles?" He didn't receive a response, so he knocked again while slowly opening the door.

"Riley?" He called out as he poked his head in only to be greeted by an empty room. ' _Huh,'_ he thought to himself wondering where Riley could be. He took a quick look around just to make sure she wasn't hiding from him and when he determined the room was definitely empty he headed back to the living room to tell Maya.

As he expected, Maya had made herself at home. She had a drink and was flipping through the channels on the TV waiting for him to come back, though I'm sure she was just expecting Riley to come out and not him.

"She's not here," Josh stated as he watched her jump at the sound of his voice.

"What do you mean she's not here?" Maya asked while giving him a hard look. As if she was trying to figure out if he was lying to her to get back at her.

"I mean that Riley is not present in the apartment at this time. Feel free to check if you don't believe me," he told her. Maya didn't think he was lying, but also couldn't be positive so she made her way out of the living room to Riley's room. Josh had left the door open and she could see no one inside. She, like Josh, did before her, looked around to make sure it was empty and then head back the way she came.

"Any idea where she is?" Maya asked Josh when she found him in the kitchen. He pulled his head out of the fridge and looked at her.

"How should I know?" he asked.

"Because I'm sure you texted her as soon as I left the room," as she looked pointedly at the phone in his hand drawing his eyes to it.

"Perhaps I did, but before I answer that I have a question of my own," he paused to look at her and she gestured for him to continue. "What time did you get to Topanga's?"

Maya seemed to freeze for a minute and then met his eyes.

"Why would you ask that? We meet at 10," she said.

"Yes I know that, but if I remember correctly you were still at the field when practice started. At ten. So unless you have a twin you never told us about, you weren't at Topanga's when you usually meet. So what time did you get there?" he asked as he stared her down. She mumbled something under her breath. "What was that?"

"I said, I got there around 11:30."

"Did you tell her you were going to be an hour and a half late?

"No."

"So after being an hour and a half late, you're surprised she wasn't there?" He asked his agitation beginning to show.

"No, just surprised I couldn't find her," she said quietly while looking incredibly guilty. "So can you tell me where she is so I can find her and explain?"

"No," he held up his hand as she began to protest. "She didn't answer me either. I'd say you could stay here but I'm showering and leaving again, so all I can tell you is to try calling her later."

"Fine," she grumbled as she headed out of the kitchen. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he heard the door close. Without thinking he tried calling Riley again and again received no answer. Riley always answered her phone. He would try again after he showered.

He headed for his room as he pondered what to do. He wanted Riley to tell him what was going on with her lately. He loved his sister either way and she did need to see the world in a more realistic way, but he didn't ever want her to stop being the happy optimist she was. It was killing him watching her retreat into herself and close herself off from the people who care about her. Hopefully, he would think of something soon.

After his shower, Josh was getting ready to head out with his friends when his phone started ringing.

"Hey, Liam, what's up? Aren't I meeting you in like 20 minutes?" he said.

"Hey man. Yeah, we are. I already talked to Jake can you meet us at the Central Park Zoo instead?"

"Yeah, no problem. Why though?" Josh asked. He was as flexible as the next guy but the zoo was an odd place to meet for them.

"Can't explain now. Just meet here okay?"

"Yeah. See you soon." ' _That was odd'_ he thought as he hung up the phone.

Twenty minutes later as Josh approached the zoo he realized why his friend was so cagey on the phone. There, next to the sea lions, was Liam and Jake talking to Riley. His only thought was _'How did this happen?_ '


End file.
